Maherisms

This is for all the miscellaneous gems that Fr. throws our way. Take them in good humor, and sorry for any repeats. 1. "I'm a nun magnet!" 2.Student: "So...Mussolini was stupid." Fr. : "Well, he also lacked charity." 3."Some people lift weights. I go to museums." 4."I never have to make anything up." 5."Dan Brown says that that painting depicts Pope Joan because Dan Brown is stupid. He also never took first semester Latin. If you say things that aren't true you will make more money, but remember that Fr. Maher will think less of you at the end of the day." 6.As his students huff and puff up the steep cobbled streets of Cortona: "This is an Italian hill town." *insert signature grin 7."Here's 2 dollars, go buy some milk, get some calcium, and grow a spine." 8."Dumb as a biscuit." 9.As a pushy umbrella vendor tries to sell to his attentive students, and with utmost pomp: "PLEASE, I'm lecturing!" 10."If anyone has allergies or is vegetarian, I can fix you up something. Or if you're not Catholic, I can fix that too." *insert grin 11."Less leg, I have to show this to the nuns." 12."Do you Speak English, Father?" "Yes, oh good to see you again, bye!" (he actually does help people if he has time) 13.Hundreds of loud annoying Italian children in a museum – now that’s terrorism 14.Devianti a Lui trema tuta Roma! (Before him, all Rome trembled! He says this for large dogs) 15."Americans?" "No, worse, British!" 16."Jesuit. Like the pope." 17."Only thing worse than Italian school children: motorcycles!" 18."Leave room for the Holy Spirit!" 19.For photos: "Be nice, be nice!" 20."schlepping" means we're going to be walking a long way, probably loaded with groceries 21.When he sees a Dominican: “let me at ‘em!” 22.To the museum employees who follow the policy of NOT giving American students discounts, in Italian: "12,000 American soldiers died for the liberation of Italy. Pretend you made a mistake." 23. "Making noise on a Sunday is as culturally acceptable as serving mushy pasta." 24. "If you rolled it down a hill and its arms BAROQUE off, it's Baroque."